On Monday, November 6th I walked into a Monday night Weight Watchers meeting, desperate to reset my path of weight loss. I love the Saturday morning group I’ve been going to, but that meeting felt stale and I felt like by starting my Points week on a Saturday, I was setting myself up to fail because I would eat so much on the weekends and my mind wouldn’t be able to recover during the week. I’m so stoked to say that since then, I’ve really felt focused again and have lost 5.6 pounds. 🎉🎉
At the meeting last night, we talked about how life has changed since losing weight. I have lately been holding back sharing in the meeting… I chime in on occasion but have allowed this new group to be an opportunity to just listen to people because they have great things to offer. But then I felt compelled to answer the question. I don’t know why, but my mind told me to speak up. How has my life changed since losing weight?
And many things floated through my head. I’m active! I fit into normal sized clothes! I sleep better! I run! I eat vegetables! I don’t live in fear of being away from a bathroom! But then, without the words even passing through my mind and coming straight out of my mouth, I said….
I don’t live life on the sidelines anymore.
And as I said that, my eyes welled a little and I didn’t even know what I had said until I said it.
Because I don’t share often, I tried to play it cool and not get teary eyed in front of this group of people I’ve only known a few weeks.
And I realized how many amazing things I get to do because I’m not on the sidelines.
- I don’t have to worry about things like the weight limit at the trampoline park.
- I don’t have to fear that a store doesn’t carry my size.
- I don’t have to avoid events with friends because I don’t know how much walking will be involved and I’m afraid of getting winded.
- I don’t have to make up excuses not to go to things because I don’t wanna be seen in a swim suit.
I can live life however I want and not watch from the sidelines.
I remember the days of wishing and hoping I could be part of the crowd. Living in fear to go somewhere because I didn’t know if the chairs would support my weight, or if it would be hot and I would be too sweaty (I was always way warmer before losing weight).
I remember looking in and wanting my life to be more than it was. And now I look out at the crowd and scream cheers of support for those on the sidelines, wanting to be part of the fun but feeling held back by their bodies.
And there is so much more for me to look forward to as I get to goal and achieve more things that I still peer at from the sidelines, but dip my toes into as I get braver and healthier.
I’m not on the sidelines anymore. I’m the coach, manager, and star player of this game.