On food and feelings

I would like to start this by saying that I am so sorry to everyone who has lost anything or anyone due to the Camp Fire. I don’t mean to make light of your situation with my post, and merely want to express my words in case others need to hear them.

The last few days have been challenging. There’s a fire 150 miles from me that’s currently over 120,000 acres spread and only 30% contained. The air is thick with smoke over 200 miles from me in either direction.

I’ve used a lot of my emotional strength to say “it’s ok, a lot of people have it way worse than I do. I need to be grateful!” and I do, and I am. I’ve said “it’s ok my races got cancelled, it’s just money I’ve lost!” and it’s true. It’s just money. Not lives, not homes. But after a while the determination of being strong wears on me, and I can always see it in the following way.

I want a donut.

This morning after I had gone running at the gym, I was feeling emotional. I knew it was a combo of feeling off from my routine, and finally letting myself have some healthy alone time on the treadmill. I felt empty and alone and despite having packed two breakfasts, lunch and two snacks for work, I knew my emotions were getting to me when the thought 💭 I want a 🍩 donut came into my head.

I clearly didn’t need a donut. My eggs and oatmeal, chicken breast with rice, Greek yogurt and fruit and turkey breast were neatly packed in my Lululemon reusable bag that doubled as my lunch bag today. But when I feel sad, food is always my go to for comfort. And I don’t find myself going face first immediately into a bag of cool ranch Doritos, I see it subtly in little things like wanting a donut or the spoon going into the peanut butter jar. Temporary happiness comes from food in those moments where I just. Feel. Sad.

No, I didn’t get the donut. I realized I was feeding my feelings and not my belly if I did. But it’s important to know that I might have this feeling again at some point, and I’ll keep it at bay again and again and again.

Best running friends.

Hi! How are you? Me, I’m great. Can’t believe CIM is less than a month away 😱

I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am to have so many great friends I’ve met through running and decided they deserve a shout out.

I am embarrassed to admit it but I have a hard time making friends. I’m more introverted and as a result like activities I do alone like reading and I mostly always run by myself. Outside of the theater I don’t have big events I meet new people at, however I learned this year that the running community has more than accepted me into their tribe and I’ve made some of the best friends in the world.

I set a NY resolution to give more compliments so here it is. Here are shout outs to some of my best running friends!

Thanks to friends who will stick by me for four hour long runs that would have taken them way less time than it took me to do.

To running groups and ambassador teams that are always willing to take a group photo with me!

To friends who will always light up my day by stopping me to say hi when seeing me at races and runs!

To friends who will spend the mornings at race expos and carb loading brunch with me!

(To the best running friends in the world)

To friends who will volunteer with me so we can cheer other friends on!

To new friends who will cheer you on and wait for you to cross the finish line of your first trail half, even if you finished nearly two hours after them.

To your craziest running friends who make you cry laughing.

To your running friends who mentor you and make you feel like a strong runner

To the running friends you meet online who become your real, in person friends!

To the running friends who coach you and push you beyond your limits.

To the running friends who bring lots of joy to your days even if you’ve only spent a few together in person

To running friends who inspire you!

And to the very best friend and running friend of all who supports, cheers and brings burgers and fries to the marathon finish line.

Thanks everyone for being my best running friends! You all mean the world to me!

Tag your best running friends or text them to decide when your next meet up for 5k and a donut is!

Cheers best running friends!